The new user interface is in preview!

Want to check it out? Click here! (If you don't like it, you can still switch back)

League Forums

Main - League Matchmaking

Re: We Want Ewe!

By raidergreg69
3/31/2022 3:09 pm
I just want to add that the Champion Las Vegas Raiders will be available after the end of season spin https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/3. I'm leaving for personal reasons that have nothing to do with how this league is ran, so if you're looking for a team, check this league out.

Re: We Want Ewe!

By CrazySexyBeast
4/05/2022 3:50 pm
LAS VEGAS BEATS THE ODDS FOR A CROWN!

In a decisive 31-17 victory over Philadelphia in Indianapolis (63k attendance), the Las Vegas Raiders return home with a shiny, fancy hat, some new-fangled finger jewelry, and bragging rights as the 2034 NFL champion.

Philly drew first blood with a quick 6 play, 48 yard drive concluding in a 4 yard passing TD from QB John Hamilton to TE Terry Cromer.

“After that interception in the first quarter (https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/watch/5661#977491) , I looked at Trevor (LVR QB Trevor Anderson) and told him I’d tell his wife about his mistress if he threw another one” said Raiders HC William Phillips.

Knowing full well that loose lips sink ships, Anderson stepped up his game, leading Las Vegas to three touchdowns in the second quarter. Heading into halftime, the Raiders led 21-7. Every future member of Gamblers Anonymous that put a .001 Bitcoin on the Raiders started to feel the tingle knowing that any team scoring 21+points in the first half wins 90.7% (this figure is fictional but probably close - ed.) of those games.

Although Philadelphia went on to put up another 10 points in the second half relying upon an aging and sometimes physically tired passing game, so did a run-reliant LV. Unfortunately for LV QB Anderson, he threw 2 more INTs in the game and received divorce papers from the Clark County Sheriff on Monday.

Box: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/box/5661
Log: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/log/5661
Film: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/watch/5661#977466











Currently @ 2035 EFA 4
League is in its 18th season.
Custom team options available, Admin paid.

Available Teams: (8)
American Conference
Los Angeles (A): https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/2
New York (A): https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/8
Baltimore: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/9
Jacksonville: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/14

National Conference
New York (N): https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/18
Dallas: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/17
Seattle: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/24
Minnesota: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/26

*Cap can be reset upon request if necessary for new GMs within the first 24 hrs of team ownership. One time offer.

League Home: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/
League Rules/Settings: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/forums/1/198?page=1#1337


Re: We Want Ewe!

By CrazySexyBeast
4/13/2022 7:30 pm
Currently @ 2035 LFA 2
League is in its 18th season.
Custom team options available, Admin paid.

Available Teams: (5)
American Conference
Los Angeles (A): https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/2
Jacksonville: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/14

National Conference
New York (N): https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/18
Dallas: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/17
Seattle: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/24

*Cap can be reset upon request if necessary for new GMs within the first 24 hrs of team ownership. One time offer.

League Home: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/
League Rules/Settings: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/forums/1/198?page=1#1337

Last edited at 4/13/2022 7:32 pm

Re: We Want Ewe!

By CrazySexyBeast
5/05/2022 9:57 pm
Currently @ 2035 MIDWEEK 4
League is in its 18th season.
Custom team options available, Admin paid.

Available Teams: (4)
American Conference
New England: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/7
Jacksonville: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/14

National Conference
New York (N): https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/18
Dallas: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/17

*Cap can be reset upon request if necessary for new GMs within the first 24 hrs of team ownership. One time offer.

Re: We Want Ewe!

By CrazySexyBeast
5/23/2022 5:01 pm
Currently @ 2035 WEEK 11
League is in its 18th season.
Custom team options available, Admin paid.

Available Teams: (6)
American Conference
Los Angeles (A): https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/2
Miami: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/6
New England: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/7

National Conference
New York (N): https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/18
South Brisbane Raiders: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/23
Seattle: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/24

*Cap can be reset upon request if necessary for new GMs within the first 24 hrs of team ownership. One time offer.

Re: We Want Ewe!

By CrazySexyBeast
6/08/2022 12:28 pm
2035 playoffs just started, a few teams open. Come get some.

Re: We Want Ewe!

By CrazySexyBeast
6/12/2022 4:35 pm
2035 NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE PLAYOFFS

Dark Horses of Destiny:
The 2035 NFL Crown Showdown begins in Indianapolis as 5th seeded underdog Houston (fisherman) hopes to rustle up enough gumption to take down the AC South Division champions. #4 Indy, under second year GM CrazyRazor, looks strong to make a go for the Eager Eight under aging veteran QB Paul Roby. Dubbed the “Hoosier Daddy” game, Indianapolis is favored by 14.

Saturday's afternoon game brings the world to 3rd seeded Pittsburg (trslick), which will hope to iron out its second half 4-4 performance with a playoff win against 6th seed Cincinnati (jlyman). Favored by 10, Pittsburgh had the third most average yards from scrimmage in the league with 371.4 ypg and 407 total points scored. Bettors have loaded up on the spread, and nobody's talking about cream cheese.

The final American Conference Dark Horse matchup begins at 8pm EDT in Buffalo (JB90) as the Bills take on Jacksonville (GtR47). Sold late in the season, Jacksonville is making their fifth straight Dark Horse appearance and is likely better than their 8-7-1 record, and the 9 point spread against them, would indicate. However, after some early season struggles, the Bills have 8 straight wins heading into the event and the offense is primed for another big win.


Over in the National Conference, Sunday's action begins in Philadelphia (vcr5150) as 7th seed Minnesota (ricmoney) hopes to ring the bells of victory at Philadelphia Stadium. Billionaire kelp tycoon ricmoney bought the league owned Minnesota late in the season and recently revealed that all proteins in the team dining facility have been replaced with kelp-based meat substitutes, plankton patés, and oddly - potato smoothies. Grinning, he wistfully examined; “Athletes need carbs, too. Even I crave a good spud sometimes, so how could I deny that to these stallions of the scoreboard?”

The road to the Crown Showdown then leads to 12-4 San Francisco (pparrish1622) as 6th seeded Dallas (ArmoredGiraffe) looks to reignite a Dallas team that was on a downward trend at 2-7 before being sold to Armored Giraffe LLC during week 10. Finishing the season 6-1, Dallas has high hopes to take down third seeded NC West champion San Francisco.

Bringing us down the stretch of the Dark Horses of Destiny weekend, fans will be delighted to finish off the leftover deli meats, store-brand chips, and yesterday’s split rolls as they gorge of a desert of #2 seeded Chicago (brxnivy) aiming to sink Tampa Bay (pc2246) into the frigid waters of lake Michigan. Chicago RB Robert “Mincemeat” Morgan (242/1443/6TD) boasted about his backfield teammate, RB Raymond “Fishmeat'' Ford (206/1232/9TD): “man, that dude’l rip up up, gut ‘em, overflow the shores of lake Michigan with the pulverized, particle sized remains of Grampa Bay’s offensive line. Those beached whales got no chance against the way we grind it out - 6 yards and a pile of hurt. Buy Polar Vortex Rehydration Supplementations - So bold, so cold. Hashtag pay me.”
When asked for a response, Tampa Bay's PR department only tweeted a picture of a leg lamp with the words "LIGHT THEM UP" underneath.

Oddly, offshore betting has every game in the National conference with a 14 point spread. Lay off the play; parlay, and bet for the win.





* Slate Productions and its interns have no control over the opinions expressed by those participating in any/all pre/during and post press conferences it details/describes/distributes via its 500 thousand global communications platforms, subsidies, and loyal servants, up to and including our interns. Any and all content produced and/or replicated with or without permission does not imply any agreement or disagreement of any statements, words, or actions within said content.

RELATED ARTICLES:
Polar Vortex Inc Sued for Consumer Deaths Due to Internal Tissue Freezing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
What Could Go Wrong? A Story of the Liquid Nitrogen Health Craze:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34Ig3X59_qA
DJIA: Antifreeze Stocks Up/Soda Stocks Down:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdkCEioCp24
Polar Vortex Caught Dead Cold in Lawsuit:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_Z5q152GSQ
Salsas For Summer: HOT Celebrity Recipes Included!:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xm3YgoEiEDc




FURIOUS FOUR BRACKET:






Re: We Want Ewe!

By CrazySexyBeast
6/13/2022 5:36 pm
2035 NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE PLAYOFFS

The Crown Showdown: Las Vegas Raiders vs Albuquerque Nukes (EVEN)

The National Football League has arrived at its annual gem - The Crown Showdown. Looking to repeat, the Las Vegas Raiders (raidergreg69) will face the Albuquerque Nukes (CrazySexyBeast) at an as yet to be disclosed location. Hopefully, someplace tropical.

Vegas cruised through the playoffs, crushing Indianapolis (CrazyRazor) 40-19 in the Eager Eight before annihilating Buffalo (JB90) 31-3 in the Furious Four. Raiders QB Trevor Anderson, usually a display of efficiency (70.2 reg season comp, has been average for the 2035 playoffs (37/59 62.7%/220ypg/3 TDS). Fortunately, the Raiders offensive line has been outstanding with zero (0) sacks allowed, protecting the 12 year vet into his second league championship game.
Not to be denied the spotlight as Anderson’s career fades in a hopeful flash of glory for Las Vegas, the Raiders RB duo of Robert Wright and Wesley Snipes have sprinted their way to 373 yards on 74 combined carries. Averaging a smidge over 5ypc, RB Wright promised to buy each of his offensive linemen a “lifetime supply of printer ink. Black and Color. For each of them. That squid juice is more expensive than any Rolex or Lambo will ever be. Thank gawd cars don’t need toner cartridges, or we’d all be in Hoovervilles.”

Albuquerque, making its 15th straight playoff appearance, last won a Crown in 2033. This team is definitely not that team. Led by journeyman QB Darrell Marino - who is in his second go around with the team - and going without injured star RB Julian Washington, the Nukes should be the clear underdog. Marino, who finally wrestled the starting job for good from a failing Martin Wagner in wk 12, has had a stellar playoff run putting up 593 yards @ 7.06 YPA with 2 TDs and 2 INTs. With a backfield in question led by oft-injured RB Gnocchi Nightingale it is quite clear that if there's a championship to be had this year, it’s going to be earned in the trenches.
Fortunately for Albuquerque, they are thick on the defensive side of the ball. With a record tying 92 total points allowed during the 2035 season, the Nukes are stacked from the defensive line to the DBs. “We are going to have to play lights out. There’s no doubt that the Raiders defense will show up, we just have to show them up” stated 7th year DC Charles King. “If we can’t tie up that offense behind the line, keep them outside of the redzone, it might be a long day at the Waffle House.”

The bookies - apparently "absolutely intoxicated" - have the 2035 Crown Showdown even.








Currently @ 2035 Crown Showdown
League is in its 18th season.
Custom team options available, Admin paid.

Available Teams: (7)
American Conference
Los Angeles (A): https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/2
Miami: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/6
New England: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/7


National Conference
New York (N): https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/18
South Brisbane Raiders: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/23
Seattle: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/24
Green Bay: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/27

*Cap can be reset upon request if necessary for new GMs within the first 24 hrs of team ownership. One time offer.

League Home: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/
League Rules/Settings: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/forums/1/198?page=1#1337

No bull, all wool.
Last edited at 6/13/2022 5:38 pm

Re: We Want Ewe!

By CrazySexyBeast
6/26/2022 10:15 pm
Thanks to each of you for your patience while I got my **** n a group and got back into action after a difficult time. #Grateful for the space.

2035 NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE PLAYOFFS

The Crown Showdown: Las Vegas Raiders 18 vs Albuquerque Nukes 19
November 30, -0001 70° Detroit Stadium (Dome, Detroit, MI) Attendance: 64,500 (100%)

As the lotto-winning fans - each of which paid $10,000 just to enter the lottery and subjugated to felony level NDA’s (legally permitted due to the NFL’s congressionally approved exemptions from US federal antitrust and RICO legislation) - began to enter Detroit Stadium, the pride of the National Football League was about to begin. The 2035 NFL Champion Las Vegas Raiders (radiergreg69), wearing their home silver and black colors, were doing their final walkthrough of their 1st 5 offensive plays.
“We knew we wanted to come out heavy in the I formations, and we knew we needed to lean on both our RB Robert Wright and our QB” explained LV HC William Phillips. “Last night, we had the offense in the Gettysburg Room, and our D over in Proclamation Hall, each of them preparing for whatever came after the coin flip.”

It showed after Albuquerque (CrazySexyBeast) won the toss, and chose to receive. As the clock closed in on 4:20 MST, the ball was in the air and the game was on.

Perhaps it was something spread through the Flint, MI Super 8 HVAC systems, as ABQ also relied heavily upon single RB and I formations in the Crown Showdown’s opening drive (https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/watch/5994#1035441). Well rehearsed against the opening offensive "Nuclear" package, Vegas’ defense limited the Nukes to 5 plays, 20 yards, and out.

Not to be deterred and ready for the task, Albuquerque’s special teams quickly came out for the first punt of the day. Looking to set the tone to the Raiders’ offense, Nuke’s P Adam Martinelli launched his first of several massive punts - a 46 net/gross yarder into the right corner for a fair catch (https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/watch/5994#1035447).

Capturing the moment of importance, Las Vegas was willful in its determination to put up 7 points on their first possession. With cool, calculated efficiency, the Raiders worked down the field, capping their opening 12 play, 88 yard drive - slowed only by an intense yet ultimately futile goal line stand by the ALB D that eventually yielded to a QB Trevor Anderson run for a TD and the first points of the 2035 Crown Showdown (https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/watch/5994#1035456).

On the next possession ABQ QB Darrell Marino chucked up one of his well known barf-o-matic, “Why would you even ponder passing” * passes for an interception to LV FS Kyle Donnelly. Shortly thereafter, the Raiders dunked on a 47 yard FG by K Gene Andrews.

Not to be out done, after the Raider’s vaunted D forced the Nukes into yet another booming punt, Vegas RB Robert Wright promptly tossed up the cookie at the LVR 49 (https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/watch/5994#1035478), giving Albuquerque an opportunity to get back in the game.

...and knock that door down they did. Putting the drive into the hands of RB's Gnocchi Nighingale and Howard Martin, the Nukes worked the trenches for 35 yards and Albuquerque's first points of the game - a 32 yard FG from K Robert Davis.

After sloppy offensive play by both teams, fans cruised to the troughs and frolicked amongst the vendors (Editor’s Note: The NFL’s 2036 Crown Showdown, in an exclusive contract, was sponsored by Polar Vortex Rehydration Supplementations) while Albuquerque Head Coach Benjamin Hart worked to rally his team.
“Look, I know most of you are old enough to have personally witnessed the Trinity tests, but we better pull ourselves together! Really don’t care if you’re tired, really don’t care if you’ve cashed out. We better get out there and give it 110% for Darrell. We know he’s special. He’s a Marino that could actually win a title. He got us this far, on your tired rear ends. Now, buck up, muck up, and let’s get out there and beat them down, South Central Avenue style!! Now unplug those IV’s and go KICK SOME (expletive)!””

Outside, a lone crack of thunder rumbled its way through a mostly vacant business district.

Beginning from their own 19, the Raiders looked to capitalize on their 10-6 halftime lead. However, apparently that little fart, that timely cloudripper from the Cosmos indicated a turn of fortunes. LV QB Trevor Anderson threw an unbelievable pass - right into the arms of Albuquerque veteran linebacker Tyler Smith. Nukes ball at the LVR 16.

With both teams running similar offenses, Las Vegas’ defense once again held the Nukes to a FG. 10-9 LV.

With a chilling coldness, the Nukes defense came out and did their job, glacially limiting Vegas to a 6 play, 22 yard drive ending with a delicious 48 yard punt. Albuquerque ball on the Nukes’ 5.
Having settled in, ABQ QB Marino took the field, clearly in full control of both the offense and his erratic abilities. Darting quick passes inside and out, he quickly moved the Nukes into Vegas territory.
“Not sure” HC Hart responded in the post game interview. “Not really sure why, as we were approaching the red zone, why OC Joshua Messina decided to return to the ground game. I mean, without doubt those two men have earned the rock and the respect, but when Marino gets hot, when his arm goes full on Super Duper, he needs the rock.”
Once again Albuquerque settled for a field goal. Raiders 10, Albuquerque 12. The angst was real along the Albuquerque sidelines.

As the Crown Showdown whittled its way to the end of the third quarter, both teams were locked in defensively. Sometimes mirroring each others’ calls against various offensive formations. It looked as if Albuquerque might be able to grind out yet another championship, that the millstone was not quite in need of a full replacement.

Taking the ball at their own 25, Las Vegas took the field for what would likely be their final offensive drive of the 2035 season. QB Anderson, himself looking to win his 2nd League championship and what could be back-to-back Crowns, firmly grasped the future in his hands after a quick snap from C Jeff Freeman, and promptly tossed a terrible decision at WR Andrew Goggins. From there, Raider HC William Phillips willingly returned to his running game (https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/watch/5994#1035553).

After 6 rushes for 47 yards from 3 different backs, and the Nukes’ D clearly rocking on their heels, the Raiders returned to the air, finishing the drive with 4 straight complete passes, a touchdown, and a 2-point conversion to put the icing on what they expected to be victory.

Vegas 18. Albuquerque 12. 12:24 remaining before the National Football League has its new Monarch.
The Raiders defense once again held true, holding ABQ to 4 plays and a punt. The Nukes, in between Dline kneel downs, managed to hold Vegas’ ensuing drive to 3 and out.

8:12 remaining in the season, Albuquerque ball at the Nukes’ 32.

The Nukes presented a full offensive front, singleback package and began to work down the field. Grabbing 15 here, 5 there, a QB run everywhere for an 8 yard gain, ABQ found themselves at the LVR 33 and in position for a possible record setting 9th Crown (breaking their own record).
Moving into the redzone on a nifty pass to WR Joel “Animal” Elliot, then shifting to the run game for a quick 4 yards before pounding it home for the game tying TD. Digging in for the win, Marino launched three consecutive completions to WR Willie “Steamin' ” Beaman and RB Nightingale, and finally TE Stephen McCormick to tie the game with 1:13 remaining.
Casually taking their time, the Nukes’ FG unit waltzed onto the field and nailed the extra point, with K Davis staying perfect for the season (preseason to championship game, also a league record), and the coffin was sealed on the Raiders season.

Las Vegas had one more shot at the title, only to fade 4 and out quietly into the Detroit night as the Nukes went into victory formation and on to Disney.
(Game winning drive): https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/watch/5994#1035575

ABQ: 19 LVR: 18

*Quote: Paul Allen
**This article may or may not contain advertisements for Polar Vortex Rehydration Supplementations(TM)(R)

BOX: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/box/5994
GAME FILM: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/watch/5994#1035441
GAME LOG: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/log/5994








Currently @ 2036 Early Free Agency Week 1
League is in its 19th season.
Custom team options available, Admin paid.

Available Teams: (9)
American Conference
Kansas City: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/4
New England: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/7
Jacksonville: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/14


National Conference
South Brisbane Raiders: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/23
Seattle: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/24
Detriot: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/25
Green Bay: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/27
Midtown Murder: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/29
Tampa Bay: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/31

*Cap can be reset upon request if necessary for new GMs within the first 24 hrs of team ownership. One time offer.

FREE offseason team customization closes at Training Camp Sim!!!


League Home: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/
League Rules/Settings: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/forums/1/198?page=1#1337

The time to gather your flock is NOW!
Copied many times, but never properly duplicated ;)
Last edited at 7/03/2022 7:36 pm

Re: We Want Ewe!

By CrazySexyBeast
7/03/2022 6:32 pm

Currently @ 2036 PRE-SEASON MID WK 2
League is in its 19th season.
Custom team options available, Admin paid.

Available Teams: (7)
American Conference
Kansas City: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/4
Jacksonville: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/14

National Conference
Arizona (formally South Brisbane): https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/23
Seattle: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/24
Detriot: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/25
Green Bay: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/27
Tampa Bay: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/team/31

*Cap can be reset upon request if necessary for new GMs within the first 24 hrs of team ownership. One time offer. Must PM Admin.

FREE offseason team customization!!!


League Home: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/
League Rules/Settings: https://vikings.myfootballnow.com/forums/1/198?page=1#1337

What was the sheep’s evil plan?
To wool the world.

...well, perhaps one might begin with the NFL!